Mother Daughter Vacations

It's not a birthday without candles

Parents get all giddy about milestones, and with two kids, I consider myself a professional milestone-marker. So, I was a little startled to discover that my preschooler had a thing or two to teach me about the proper way to celebrate an important moment.

Last month, I ignored my birthday, but not because I'm trying to stop the clock or revisit my lost youth. I was just too busy.

In our family, most of our major celebrations happen in a span of six weeks: our anniversary and three birthdays, not to mention Mother's Day. We get a small breather before Father's Day, and then it is three whole months until my youngest daughter's birthday. My older daughter, Ayanna, was due to arrive on my birthday but was gracious enough to hold out until she was evicted — er, induced — the following day.

After four years of essentially sharing a birthday with Ayanna, I had made my peace with the fact that the last week of May is not about me. Birthday celebrations with the party hats, cupcakes and lighted candles are really for kids anyway, right? When she's older, I'm looking forward to mother-daughter spa days. But in the meantime, I've asked for no-muss, no-fuss birthdays.

This year, while planning our annual family vacation to the East Coast, I booked our early-morning return flight for my birthday. We got a great fare, and it would get us back to Austin in time for the obvious main event: Ayanna's fourth-birthday celebration.

My big day was spent navigating airports before dawn, mattress-shopping for the girls' new "big girl bed" and then letting two overtired kids unwind at the house. My husband headed to the grocery store to restock our fridge, empty after a week away. I got a tasty steak dinner, which included a glass of good wine, and a new spa robe.

What more could I ask for?, I thought. I'm too mature to need a birthday cake and candles.

The next day Ayanna woke up at 6:30 a.m., walked into our room and asked: "Is today my birthday?"

"Yes," we said, grinning broadly. "So, how old are you?"

"Three."

I was confused. We'd been over this a zillion times for the last two months. She had been talking about her birthday nonstop for two weeks.

"Sweetie. It's your birthday. That means you are 4," I patiently explained.

"No, I'm not. There's no cake."

No matter how many times I explained that her birthday is the entire day, she was adamant that a "birthday" required cake and candles. All day long, neighbors and relatives would ask her how old she was, and rather than be corrected by more grown-ups she'd pause uncertainly and say "4." But when we would ask, she'd say confidently that she wasn't 4 yet and she was still "a little bit little.

Mother/Daughter Vacation!

Nothing helps the bond between a mother and a daughter quite like a Caribbean vacation.

As I approach 30 and my mom still stays 27 (it’s amazing isn’t it) it’s hard to find time for just the two of us between work and everyday life, but just this July we were lucky to find a couple days for some quality one on one time. We packed up the bags, kissed our men good by, and flew down to the Riviera Maya for 5 days of lazy, Caribbean bliss. We were lucky to find an amazing deal at the adults only Iberostar Grand Hotel Paraiso , but even if adults only isn’t your style, a mother daughter trip to any all inclusive resort can be just what the doctor ordered. We relaxed on the beach with a book in hand, but with all the girl talk we had to catch up on I barely read one chapter. From morning until night we tested out the finest fruity Caribbean drinks, ate until we were stuffed and entertained the resort employees with stories of when I was young. From old memories to new, our mother daughter vacation will always stand out as one of my favorite vacations ever!

The Mother-Daughter Project, How Mothers and Daughters Can Band Together, Beat the Odds, and Thrive Through Adolescence

The Mother-Daughter Book Club, How Ten Busy Mothers and Daughters Came Together to Talk, Laugh, and Learn Through Their Love of Reading

I Am My Mother's Daughter, Making Peace with Mom--Before It's Too Late

Mother-Daughter Duet, Getting to the Relationship You Want with Your Adult Daughter

The Mother-Daughter Book Club